Dissolving the margins

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Dissolving the margins

 

The borders between you and

not you and

everything in between are too thin

painfully thin. You feel every hair

every fissure of the not you.

Every moment you blink with the eyes that are not

yours and breathe with someone else’s lungs

 

You die get born give birth and die again

the endless times during

the day and night

all the relentless hours of now

 

Here is everywhere

 

You have no edges left

The you is stretched through every moment and every place

 

That person at the table to your left, his fingers on the glass of water – you feel the startling coolness of the perspiring glass, you feel his aching right molar and you connive at delaying a visit to the dentist yet again, his trickle of sweat is running down your backs and his thirst makes you gasp for water.

 

You feel bile rising in yourhis throat because of this unrelenting proximity

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MA exhibition

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on Friday, the 2nd September, Margaret Street Birmingham.

Lucidity

 

the moment of total clarity when

everything that is and

everything that is not and

would never be

becomes clear, you get overwhelmed with understanding and familiarity of all, and love and the grief of knowledge

 

only a moment – blisteringly

burning

molten

frozen momentarily

liquid nitrogen pouring down the eyesthroatnose

 

 

the knowledge is wiped clean – not a sliver of knowledge or understanding that overtook the whole being remains.

 

no memory left but a memory of a memory, the nostalgia for the unremembered.

 

trying to find it again and again; it is on the verge of recognition

a forever distant horizon.

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oil on gessoed board

60×80 cm

 

The sinusoidal approach to the time of the submission

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This is what it feels like: one moment you think you actually have got it all in hand (paintings are finished, well as far as they can be, and even dry; transport arranged; critical evaluation started…) and then you suddenly face the fact that that is it: ten days left and your work will have to stand on its own, and two years of your life will be examined and given a mark… And a wave of sheer panic engulfes you.

semantics

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I am thinking about the name for what I am doing for the MA show. the title I cam us with is Dissolving the Margins. it started off as Dissolving Margins, but I feel the inclusion of the definite article makes the title more active (from the adjectival to verbal).

 

I have published this drawing before but it works here as an illustration.

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